Should I Give Her Another Chance?

Dear Nana Ama,

I am 29-years of age and a banker by profession. Last December, I discovered that the lady I want to marry was having an affair with her ex-lover.

When I confronted her about it, she denied it but later admitted that it was true but didn't know why she did that. She asked that I forgive her as she would never do it again.

I love her very much and want to give her a second chance, but anytime l remember the issue, l feel very bad and disturbed and don't even know if I can ever trust her again.

She happens to be the only child of her mother who has been putting pressure on her to get married and give her grandchildren. What should l do?

Alex, Accra.

Dear Alex,

When someone cheats on his or her partner, you can be sure that there may be issues of trust to deal with later if the relationship does not end up on the rocks, and that is what you are going through.

You're trying hard to give her another chance to prove her worth and that is your rational decision, but you're dealing with human emotions which are not rational.

There could be a number of reasons for her to have had that affair with her ex. Often, a relationship may not work out but that doesn't mean the feelings the couple have for each other ends.

Have an honest talk with her because you need to be clear why she had the affair in the first place.If that is done, you could decide if there is any danger of another future get-together.

Her affair with her ex also means that you need to work more on your relationship. That is very important if you are to be sure she will not go back to him even after marriage.